“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us;
what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.”- Albert Pike

Dear Saints and Aints.

Shalom.

My footfall, muted by the withered grass, goes unnoticed but by the two small dogs that keep me company as I walk across the now deserted playground. The boys have left for their respective destinations for the summer either to parents, relatives or friends. The compound lies dark under the cloud covered sky that permits neither moon nor star to illuminate it. The subdued noise from the distant city readying itself for sleep floats out to me. From several mosques in the surrounding area come the voices of the muezzins calling the faithful to prayer; the last for the day. Mingling with it is the music of a wedding party at a nearby venue. Two dogs a fair distance from each other are engaged in a shouting match; if an old tale can be believed it is about the age old dispute among dogs as to who owns the moon … Still other sounds from the distant city weave in and out completing the tapestry of soothing sounds.

The last guest gone, I am alone with my thoughts and as often at such times trying to make sense out of my life, my relationship to God and others.

In May the admissions start and we expect the same number of kids – maybe more – over a 1000 … We accept them not because of what we have but for what we believe God will provide. This is what we have done over all these years. Once the children are here they are here for the year – at least as far as the homes are concerned – there are always some kids who run away in the middle! For us it’s like in a flight; once you are in the plane - you are in for the duration; you cannot get out halfway through.

I am not sure if many people really understand what it is like to wake up in the morning with the knowledge that the eyes of over a 1000 children plus staff etc. are upon you - to give them their food in due time. Not just food but all the other things necessary for life.

Yet through these 30 years since looking after kids this is how it has been. It used to be much worse as I took kids without sufficient funds for the ones we already had. Mad? Extreme? Foolhardy? Ask the kids who are now saved. Ask the kids who are now in the ministry. Ask the kids who now have good jobs and a changed life.
Yet faith to me is not a circus act. I am not a cliff-jumper who wants to prove that God will command his angels to lift him on their hands should he jump. No doubt they will – at least his soul - after it left the crumbled body decorating the foot of the cliff.

Faith to me is as simple as that of a kid coming home for lunch and – expecting it. I expect God to help me in a positive child-like manner. He promised to look after me – which I assume includes my extended family – and he has done this very thing over all these years. When I came to India in 1976 I came with that expectation – an expectation that covered everything I believed he wanted me to do. I am convinced; if nobody would support us God Himself would drop in with a bag of gold. The fact that so far He needed not to do so shows He has blessed us with wonderful friends – who take that job of bringing the gold to us out of His hands.

Frequently during a more honest assessment of myself, however, I wonder if my claim to faith is not a mild exaggeration as – the truth being told – I fret as much as the next man, sometimes more the reason for the latter is – because I have more to fret about.

Yet as Bishop J. C. Ryle puts it so well,

“As long as we are in the body we must not expect faith to be above the reach of fear.”

And so there is sometimes the temptation to join in Jeremiah’s complaint to God,

“Will you be to me a deceptive brook?” Jeremiah 15:18

Or grab some verses from Lamentations:

“He has walled me in so that I cannot go out;
He has made my chain heavy.
Even when I cry out and call for help,
He shuts out my prayer.
He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.” Lamentation 3:7-9

Ever present in my mind are the homes, their future and Bapu’s responsibilities in the scheme of things. His is certainly not an easy job.

His “staff”, part of it at least, is certainly no comfort to him. A bunch of ingratiates who got too much too soon and suffer from the delusion – they earned it; they deserve it; it is theirs by divine decree and therefore – I owe it to them. Some feel that I worked them so hard when we started this place (which no doubt I did) that now they can lay claim to the overtime accrued and do next to nothing – but in their defense - do it very well. Some loudly muse what a wonderful life they would be leading had I not appeared on the scene and drag them into this labor camp – where now they have their own plot of land, their own house, their own vehicle and their offspring attending English medium schools and colleges … Still, all ranting aside – they are my kids and – Bapu’s unwanted brothers...

Rudyard Kipling’s lament sums up mine;

“From forge and farm and mine and bench,
Deck, altar, outpost lone--
Mill, school, battalion, counter, trench,
Rail, senate, sheepfold, throne--
Creation's cry goes up on high
From age to cheated age:
"Send us the men who do the work
"For which they draw the wage!”
--The Wage-Slaves-- 1902

The fear that Bapu will not be adequate for the task thrust upon him is unfounded. He is tough, smart and has one quality which I lack – he is impartial. When the time comes for him to stand alone – he will stand! His love for the kids and the homes matches mine even if he expresses it in a different way. His faith in Jehovah-Jireh however needs some working on and he could benefit from the three times repeated admonition God gave to Joshua in Joshua chapter one - “be strong and courageous!” But God will teach the teachable and Bapu, with two MAs qualifies for that.

Whatever, such as we are God uses…

I plan to spend the month of June in Thailand for an undeserved rest. I am looking forward to it.

“I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.”
Benjamin Disraeli

Our prayer request is --- for your prayers! Our praise is – for your friendship!

Frank

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